Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Hot Air Balloon

I decided that 2006 was the year I should get out of my comfort zone a little so when my friends Lisa and McLean decided we should go for a hot air balloon ride when we all met out in Albuquerque a couple weekends ago, I said I was in. I'm not a huge fan of heights but somehow I thought going up in a hot air balloon was something I might as well do, since New Mexico has these things on their license plates and all. So come Sunday morning we were picked up at 6:15 a.m. by Troy, the Great Balloonman Enthusiast in a 10-passenger van with a trailer attached.

Troy is one crazy Balloonist. He was one of the first to fly to another continent in a balloon, landing in Africa. He's traveled over the ocean via balloon in a capsule barely big enough to fit two people. (I've got that down on my list of things I never want to do.) Troy took us to pick up two more balloon passengers at the local Motel 6. Afterwards we met up with the "balloon crew" in a Starbucks parking lot, which consisted of one Kris Kringle-looking fellow who was to be our balloon pilot, a middle aged lady and a young lady and man in their early twenties. At this point I was still under the naive impression that this hot air balloon business has a set starting and ending point, much like any other ride you would partake in, say, at the local carnival. I learned quickly this was not the case, however, when Troy began sending up test balloons at various points in the city. The test balloon is an actual regular balloon you'd see at your birthday party and the test itself consists of letting it go into the air to see what direction in ends up in, since that mirrors what is going to happen when you're inside a wicker basket hanging from a much larger balloon in the sky. Okay. The test balloon went aggressively in one direction and so we had to reroute and finally our passenger van/trailer/balloon crew car combo stumbled upon what was considered the best take-off location, a department store parking lot, which was quite surprising to me. But I guess what else are you going to do in a department store parking lot at 7 am on a Sunday? Right? Right.

At this point Troy got out a waiver with which we were to sign our lives away. This is when we received our first briefing about the landing technique of a hot air balloon. Ah, yes, the landing. Something that hadn't even dawned on me: What goes up must come down. Crap, now I was getting scared. Here's a quick summary of Troy's landing instructions: "When the balloon starts going down, turn in the direction of travel, on an angle, bend your knees, hold on to the handle, and don't fall out of the basket once we hit the ground." That's right, everyone, hot air balloons do not have brakes. They just deflate and hit the ground. Awesome. So after we had all agreed to not sue Troy lest the balloon plummet directly into the Rio Grande, the crew began unfurling the 72-foot biggin we rode in.


The Unveiling of our Travel Means, in such a beautiful locale

At this point my former roomies and I were hamming it up taking various photos for myspace, of course, when suddenly the balloon crew is hollering at us to hop into the basket. Sure enough, the balloon is inflated and the crew is trying to keep that sucker down on the ground. We run over with our new Motel 6-residing pals to hop in the basket. The way you get in is through holes cut into the side of the basket that work as steps. Good news is the wicker basket is very sturdy.


The wicker basket (on it's side)

It's also not very large, which makes for quite the cozy ride. It is made up of three compartments: two compartments are horizontal and one is vertical. The vertical compartment holds about 4 different tanks, which make the balloon go, and the pilot. The other two compartments hold three people each, all standing shoulder to shoulder. You aren't strapped in, there are no helmets, life preservers, or parachutes to be worn, and there is a very noisy flame right about your head that the pilot makes shoot out whenever he wants us to go up higher. (Rather toasty).

The way up was just a little bit scary, we were slowly ascending - heading straight for a large lamppost, but once we were up there it was easy breezy. The sights were gorgeous with the sunshine, mountains, river, and other balloons in the distance. The ride was relaxing and peaceful despite the flame noise and all the dogs barking at us from below (seriously, that was the most shocking thing... how you could see and hear every single dog in backyards freaking out at you.) We were cheered on by a couple men drinking Bud Light in their backyard at 8 am, that was pretty sweet.


What One Would See if They Looked Down

After an hour the pilot starting looking for a place for us to land. This proved to be difficult, as we were being followed below by the crew in the van, so the field we landed in had to have no fences, be accessible by road, and not contain any power lines. It's trickier than it sounds. Finally they spotted one and the pilot started letting out the air. This means I was peeing my pants of nervousness as the ground came rushing up closer and closer to us. We were all crouched down in that basket, hanging on to the handles, when we first hit the ground with a huge bump. We went back into the air, hit the ground again, and the entire wicker basket toppled over. It was then that I understood the design of the compartment dividers, as had those not been present I would have had three other passengers on top of me. One would think that dang basket would stop once toppled over but the balloon was still going strong as instead we were dragged about twenty feet or so through a field of cacti, tumbleweed, and bushes. Debris was flying everywhere. My eyes were squeezed shut so I wouldn't get a stick in the eye, I was basically sitting on McLean's lap, and I probably asked Lisa three times if we had stopped moving yet. Finally the thing stopped and the pilot instructed us to climb out one by one.


The Landing - Check out those Skid Marks

All in all, I thought it was quite an experience. The not so fun part consisted of us having to help the balloon crew deflate the thing and shove it into a large bag and then drag both that and the monstrously heavy wicker basket to the trailer. Oh yeah, and then the van got stuck in the field and we had to spend an hour and a half in the desert amongst tumbleweed waiting for someone to rescue us. I learned cacti are real and it is scary. One of the balloon crew people fell on one and it was not pretty. She had hundreds of those needles stuck in her ass - through her hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Disturbing.

During this time we also participated in an air balloon tradition. After a person finishes their first ride they are given champagne and they must kneel and face the sun. Then the pilot toasts to the earth and us getting back safely and all that good stuff. I really felt like a part of their ballooning community. Don't be surprised if I'm back in Albuquerque in October for the balloon fest.