Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Let the Weather Complaints Begin

Chicago is a cruel city. It gives the gift of an amazing summer packed with places to go, things to do, and people to see.


It makes you forget about the winter.


The blistering, frigid, I can't feel my toes, dash into the bar, huddle in the corner at the el stop, let your car run and warm up while you're still inside, stop for hot chocolate, seriously consider never leaving the apartment, kind of cold. How is it possible that every summer my memory is erased of the actual feeling of the first time I see my breath in the air?


This is technically my first official experience braving the Chicago weather. Growing up I was always in a car. Last winter I drove to work. Mark down the '05-'06 season as the one where I get the real reality check of Chicagoan winter hell. I get to walk through snow and wait for that el- no matter the temperature. Lucky me. Is it time to switch to hibernation-mode yet?


Here are some techniques I've brainstormed to get me through this season:

1) Entertaining the possibility of seriously purchasing (and sporting) a full-on facemask. I know I've tossed this idea around before, but it's getting more and more serious. Think about it. When you're wearing it, no one knows it's you as long as you're not carrying anything too distinguishing. So, much like Clark Kent, just find a hidden corner, pull off the mask, and proceed into work. Imagine how glorious it would be if your face is warm. Genius?


2) Peapod.com. Has anyone tried this? I've frowned upon it, stating that only the laziest of all people could have groceries delivered. But perhaps these people are really on to something. If I didn't have to retrieve groceries, I could cut down on my time spent leaving the apartment.


3) Netflix. Why leave the apartment if I can watch all episodes of Nip/tuck, Lost, Golden Girls, etc? And, again, it comes right to my door. So, um, anyone want to come over and hang out with me?


4) Purchasing a lock for a locker, carting my gym clothes to work, and going to the gym straight from work. It's a struggle enough to brave the (barely) 2-block walk to the gym in good weather. Better do all in my power to get me there when it's cold, right?


5) Uggs. I might actually have to give in to this horrific trend and purchase a pair. Not Uggs themselves, of course, but the generic, cheap-ass Uggs. From Famous Footwear or something. Along with my gym clothes I'll cart my work shoes and then I can have nice warm toes for my journey.


Any other ideas?


In other news, I attended a college alumni event tonight at a bar where my old professors proceeded to lead us in a round of the alma mater. It made me a little uncomfortable. I'm all about school pride but it felt very cult-ish. Or almost as if we were in the final scene of Dirty Dancing when the summer is ending. The only thing missing was a hot Swayze busting in and saying "Nobody puts baby in the corner!" What a shame.