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Monday, November 14, 2005

In Keeping with the Parental Theme Today

Let me set something straight before I begin. I love my mother very much. With that being said, I can still, from time to time, want to bang my head into a wall after interacting with her.


My mom's two biggest gripes with me, as of late:
1) The fact that I don't have a boyfriend
2) My love of drinking/going out to bars


My mom has the uncanny ability of turning every single story I tell her into something pointing out the fact that I am single.


Example #1:
Me: "Mom, Work's going really well. I've been working a lot of hours."
Mom: "That's great! So are there any co-workers you can date?"
Me: "Oh Lord, Mom."


Example #2:
Me: "So I went to a few parties last weekend, they were a blast----
Mom: (Interrupting) "So did you meet the love of your life now??"
Me: "Oh Lord, Mom."


Besides her working in the dating angle with every opportunity, she also likes to bring up my love for boozing.


Example:
Mom: "I just haven't seen you in foooorever, you never come visit me." (Mind you, I saw her like seven days ago).
Me: "Mom- I'm busy. I promise I don't just sit around doing nothing."
Mom: "Yeah, you go to bars. That's what you do."
Me: "Oh Lord, Mom."
Mom: "What?! Everytime I talk to you, you're hungover."


I think my mom thinks I am living some sort of secret underground life where all I do is be drunk all the time and not like men and have all these stories that I hide from her. She doesn't believe me when I say that nothing's really new in the last three days since I've talked to her. I tell her it's awful hard for something new to happen to me when the bulk of my existence consists of going to work, going to the gym, cooking dinner, and going to bed. Maybe I should start making things up just to make her happy. Then perhaps she wouldn't harp on me so much.


The kicker is back when I was Relationship Girl all she would say is, "You need to date around... take your time... be single... are you sure you like [insert negative statement here] about [insert then-boyfriend's name here]?" Now that I'm single she's all wanting grandchildren. I realize that at the end of the day my Mom just means well. As for why she thinks that I must be turning down a plethora of eligible bachelors at my door on a daily basis, I'll never know. My response is usually the standard: "Mom, don't you think I'd date someone if a good opportunity arose? I'm not fighting them off at my doorstep."


What I'd really like to try and explain to my Mom is this: Have you ever just had a moment where everything in your life was more than okay? Where you are such a stronger person than you once were? Where standing alone on your own two feet is enough? Where you can love yourself above and beyond any sort of heart-related rejection or lack of opportunity? Where you can finally stay at home alone on a weekend night and love it? That is the kind of last few months I am having. Bring it on Life, I can take it.


And yet I don't know how to explain that to my Mom, who has wanted nothing more in this life than to get married and who ultimately just wants me to be happy and probably has no conception of what it has taken me to get to this point in my life. I know she understands, but I can imagine that as a mother you worry about your children dying alone. All I can say to her, besides "Oh Lord," is that right now my life is full. If someone wants to fit into my life of TV shows, boxes of Franzia, falling into construction sites, drunken escapades at Taco Bell, and living paycheck to paycheck, I'll make room. If not, that's cool. Someday maybe someone will and in the meantime I'll just keep on truckin.

PS: My sister just broke up with her boyfriend of three years. I wonder if my mom's ticker can handle two single daughters.


4:27 PM ::  :: E-Mail